When I was 15, I was told that I didn’t need to speak about the murders of unarmed Black people in America, and I just needed to “get over” culture appropriation, when the same “boxer” braids White women were putting in their hair hindered Black women from getting jobs. 

When I was 17, I saw myself and many of my college friends struggle to pay our tuition balances and living in unsanitary conditions at a Historically Black University, while only 45 minutes away at one of the top Predominately White Institutions, that my mom couldn’t afford to send me to, I would party with White students who’s parents had donated more to that school than my student loans equated to be.

When I was 18, I was denied from working at strip clubs because they just “weren’t hiring” or I wasn’t their “type”, but would see a White woman walk in right behind me and be offered a contract. 

…But they tell me White privalage doesn’t exist.

If White privilege doesn’t exist, why are white women seen as alternative for having locs in their hair, but black women with locs are seen as unkempt? 

If White privilege doesn’t exist, why did it take so long for makeup brands to notice Black women come in more shades than caramel, moca, and mahogany?

If White privilege doesn’t exist, why are White strippers are being interviewed for their self liberation, but Black strippers are only good enough for the pictures and the aesthetics?

…But White privilege doesn’t exist, right?

If White privilage doesn’t exist, why do Black people account for 60 percent of the people arrested for prostitution under the age of 18?

If White privilege doesn’t exist why do Black Transgender women have to avoid walking down the street in New York City out of fear they may be arrested under the “Walking While Trans” law, but a White woman can walk her puppy down the same block with no worries?

If White privilege doesn’t exist, why do the White police officers that are sexually assaulting Black sex workers still have a job?

Hello…White privilege is at the door.

Your White privilege is that any moment you can drop your pleasers in the trashcan and get a decent paying 9-5, but as Black female college dropout in America, I would make, on average, $31,000 in an entire year, when you really need to make around $60,000 a year to live comfortably in America.

Your White privilege is that if you want you can leave the pole, get married and start a family, while, on average, roughly 32 percent of Black women in America will get married at least once, Black women are twice as likely to have a child by the time they are 19 compared to white women, and there is a 65 percent chance that baby will be raised by a single mother.

White privilege is no longer segregated schools, its the 18 year old Black girl stripping to pay her way through that Predominantly White Institution.

White privilege is no longer the lynchings of Black people in the South, Its the Black woman afraid to work the streets at night to make a living out of fear she may be raped and murdered and no one will care to find her killer.

White privilege is no longer this distant idea of Jim Crow, it’s in our schools, in our neighborhoods, in our work spaces, in our elections polls, and it has built a nice home in our government.

Dear White privilege,

Why is everyone so afraid to address you? Why is everyone so afraid to tear you down? 

Because so many people possess you, and benefit from you. While even more people suffer from your lingering effects.

Why are you so quiet, but yet so loud?

Because so many people deny your existence, but, yet, each day you slap even more people right in the face.

Hello…White Privilege is at the door.

Dear White Women,

Your feminism is not MY feminism.

As long as I continue to make less money than you, no matter the degree behind my name, and I have to wait for a law to tell people they cannot discriminate against me because of my hair…

Your feminism will never be my feminism.

As long as my son cannot walk home alone at night from the corner store in a hoodie, or play in a park, or listen to his favorite genre of music in his car…

Your feminism will never be my feminism.

As long as my daughter can’t wear the same clothes to school as her white peers, as long as she’s more likely to be sexually assaulted or experience abuse at the hands of her partner…

Your feminism cannot be my feminism.

As long as my Transgender brothers and sisters are being murdered in the streets…

Your feminism cannot be my feminism.

As long as you continue to sit your privilege while we face discrimination in nearly every aspect of our lives,

As long as you continue to sit in your privilege while we are being murdered at the hands of your White police,

As long as you continue to reap some type of benefit from White male patriarchy and deny this privilege…

Our lives are in danger.

Acknowledge the idea of feminism was created specifically to benefit you. 

Acknowledge that all women, means White women. 

Acknowledge your privilege.

Because your feminism is not MY feminism.

Recently, an Instagram post on The Dancers Locker Room’s page asked strippers if they believed that light skin or foreign dancers receive more praise than dark skin dancers. Many women came to the comments to share experiences they’ve had in clubs where lighter skin women would be hired over darker women, they were chosen to dance in VIP sections over dark skin dancers, and light skin women were able to use their privilege to make more money than dark skin women.

What baffled me in the comment section is how light skin women were denying the privilege they have, saying that men are allowed to have their “preference”, and just straight denying the colorism that occurs within strip clubs, and especially in urban strip clubs.

I believe that many light skin women continuously deny colorism because they just don’t want to have the real conversation about it. We are not trying to attack you for a system that has been in place for many centuries, but we want you to notice your privilege in all of it. And when you continue to deny it, Colorism continues to go on and you continue to play into it.

I am not trying to tell light skin women only make money in the strip club because of their skin color, because at the end of the day every stripper is going to have to hustle, but I am simply trying to educate you on the fact that your skin gives you certain benefits that dark skin women will never have.

Outside of the fact that Club owners, managers, and promoters are using “startenders” as the face of their “strip clubs”, they embody the exact idea of colorism that I’m speaking of. Look through the Instagram page of any urban NYC strip club that is a bartender club, and tell me how many Afro-Latina women you see? How many African-American women do you see?

You see a lot of light skin Latina women with these over exaggerated bodies. It’s okay for these women to have the big butt’s and the big breasts, as long as their skin isn’t dark. Everyone loves the features of a Black woman, as long as those features aren’t actually on a Black woman.

Light skin women need to stop with notion that having light skin in the strip club doesn’t bring certain benefits. There are certain clubs that will specifically only promote light skin dancers on their social media pages, and many clubs have a “dark skin quota”.

If dark skin women are continuously telling these stories with striking similarities of how they have experienced colorism, why are you still denying it?

Personally, I’ve been denied from clubs and the management has told me it was because of my petite body, but I’ve looked around the club before leaving and seen many light skin dancers with petite bodies working there.

And stop giving into this “everyone has their preferences” bullshit. These Black men are hiding behind preferences and using it to throw dirt in the face of dark skin women. Why is it that any time that Black men say they prefer to date lighter skin women, they also have to say they don’t find darker women attractive, they believe darker women are rude or have nasty attitudes, or they’re ghetto? It’s easy to say everyone’s allowed to have a preference when you are what people prefer.

Dear Light Skin Women,

By denying that colorism exists and not acknowledging your privilege as a light skin woman you are feeding into the hierarchy pushed by Black men and society, and, therefore, you are enabling colorism and allowing it to continue in todays society. Stop denying that there is colorism in these clubs and that you can benefit from it. Stop trying to silence and discredit the stories of dark skin women. Stop allowing these men to hide behind “preferences” that are used to tear down and degrade dark skin women. Yes, you can be oppressed because you are a woman of color, and still have a privilege within your community because your skin is lighter. Colorism, and the way that you benefit from it, is not an illusion. It is a reality.

The emotional labor that strippers contribute to their job is so often overlooked. We listen to Mike talk about how he hates his job and his boss is a total d*ck. We listen to John talk about how his kids are going through their rebellious teenage stage and he has lost control of them. And don’t forget Steve, who comes to the strip club six days out of the week, but tell’s us all about how his wife can’t stand him and his marriage is failing.

We listen to all of these problems in hopes that we will be compensated for our listening ear, but who is there for us? When we need someone to vent to because the club has been a desert the past month and rent is due next week or because the love of our life decided we should just be friends, who do we go to?

The emotional factor of stripping is a reason that many strippers experience burn out, and, personally, this led to me finding comfort in unhealthy and temporary pain relievers. A few shots to get me through the shift, easily turned into getting drunk in the middle of the day and drinking five out of seven days in the week.

1 in every 5 Americans will experiences mental illness this year. 40% of Native Americans that die by suicide are ages 15-24. On average, only 2.3% of Hispanic and Black youth will seek a mental health specialist. Asian-Americans are three times less likely to seek mental health services than other Americans. But, regardless of race, mental health contributes to 90% of all suicides in America.

When I came across the picture above on Instagram, I was inspired to write about mental health because at my lowest point in life the strip club is the last place I wanted or needed to be.

Often times, strippers can get wrapped up in this idea that no matter how we feel we have to get up and go hustle. No matter if were sad, have sore knees, have a cold, or just genuinely don’t wanna be bothered, we feel as if we have to get up and go hustle because the money won’t make itself.

I want all strippers to realize that IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY. It is perfectly okay to say that sometimes the strip club can be a toxic place, and that you may need to step back and take a break from everything and everyone. It is okay to admit that taking a few shots of liquor or an Adderall just to get through a shift has now become an issue and you need help. It is okay to say that you genuinely don’t feel like listening to someone’s bullshit problems even if you are being compensated. It is okay to say that you are healing from trauma and you just need to be alone. It is okay to say that you’re struggling with mental health and you need to seek help. It is okay to put yourself and your sanity before any job.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org

1-800-273-8255

National Sexual Assault Hotline

https://www.rainn.org

1-800-656-4673

Substance Abuse Mental Health Services Administration National Helpline

https://www.samhsa.gov

1-800-622-4357

Queens Of The Underworld

https://queensoftheunderworld.com

St. James Infirmary

https://stjamesinfirmary.org

Sex workers Outreach Project

https://swopusa.org

877-776-2004

---

---

The Importance of financial literacy for Black and Brown women & money saving tips for my money making heaux’s!

---

We live in an age of over buying and over spending. Chanel purses. Balenciaga shoes. New wigs. A fresh set. And an empty bank account.

In todays society, financial literacy is no longer a luxury that’s unobtainable for the average person. You can google questions about money management, just as easily as you can find out the lipstick Beyoncé wore to a red carpet event.

But, unfortunately, for Black and Brown people in America today financial literacy is something that many of us are unconsciously unaware of because it is an idea that is not passed down to us from generation to generation.

In 2019, on average, Black women are paid 61 cents to the White mans dollar, Native American women earn 58 cents to that dollar, and Hispanic women are only earning 53 cents. Some may say that this is related to the level of education or experience, but that is actually incorrect. College enrollment rates among Black and Hispanic young adults 18-24 increased by 36 percent between 2000 and 2017, and for Native American’s there was an increase by 20 percent. In fact, Black women who obtain bachelor degrees are more likely to pursue their Masters or PhD than White men that earn a bachelors degree.

But, although, Minority women are earning significantly less than White men and women, that is not the exact reason we’re ignorant to financial literacy. It is because we were never equipped with the tools to learn it.

Hispanic women are more likely to work jobs that do not provide them any retirement saving benefits compared to every race and gender. 27 percent of Black Households are late paying their debts, such as student loans, mortgages, car payments, or credit card payments, each month, compared to only 15 percent of White households.

For many minorities in America, we have seen our parents, grandparents, cousins, and friends struggle to get by each month. Living pay check to pay check. Being late with bills. Taking pay day advances with extremely high interest rates.

And even for Minorities that have been able to live among America’s “Middle Class”, you see a trend of over spending, over buying, and people living above their means.

So, for strippers how does this tie into our hustle?

We come into contact with a lot of money very fast and if we don’t equip ourselves with the knowledge money management and investing, we will inevitably fall into the same patterns of those that came before us. All of this ties into why a lot of women have such a hard time leaving the club. Because they’ve come into a lot of money very fast over the years and have not saved a dime.

So here are some of the tips from each part of financial literacy (Managing personal finances, managing how much money you make, and investing) that I have used to help me save money and that I definitely wished I would’ve known earlier on!

1. Prioritize

Prioritize the things you MUST spend money on first. The bills you have to pay such as rent, car payments, insurance, credit card bills, etc. Print out the bill and attach the money to that bill so you know that is not fun money. Therefore, it won’t be apart of a big money pile and you’ll be less tempted to spend. Next, cut out unnecessary spending. Things that are not a priority. I live by the rule “If you can’t buy it twice, don’t buy it at all.” Hell, there are even certain things I may be able to buy 3 or 4 times that I just won’t but at all because I understand it is not a necessity at the time. Do you really need a new pair of Pleasers when you already have 4 pairs in your closet that are in good condition? And yes, as strippers we do have to invest in ourselves to upkeep our appearance, but set a budget for yourself. It is very easy to unnecessarily blow money on hair, nails, outfits, and shoes.

2. Work Consistently and Set Goals

Each week set a work schedule for yourself, AND STICK TO IT! When you already the days set in your mind that you will work it’s easier to get into the mindset that you have to go to work. Set weekly and monthly goals for yourself. I find this easier than setting nightly goals so you won’t feel bad if you don’t hit that amount. But be realistic about your goals. Understand that slow nights are apart of the game. It’s unrealistic to say that you’ll make $1,000 each night you work. Of course, you should always hustle as if you will make that amount, but it’s not realistic. And don’t get sloppy when you have a lot of good nights. Don’t think that because you made a lot one night, that you can slack the rest of the week. Also, save a certain amount each night you work. Even if you can only save 5 dollars, its better than nothing. Because eventually that 5 dollars can multiply into $5000.

3. Have Multiple Sources of Income

One thing that I believe many strippers neglect is having multiple sources of income. The average millionaire has 7 different sources of income. Stripping is literally the most inconsistent source of income, like any business, because you’ll never know how much you’ll make. Even if your extra source of income is a part time job, escorting, camming, freelance writing, private parties, or a side business, you need something! For some dancers, they may be able to strictly rely on their dance income, but that is not the case for everyone. You should always have an extra source of income, so that when the club is slow you have another way to make money and when the club is good you can be putting those profits into your savings.

4. Investing

Last, but not least, Invest your money into something. I want to start by saying that being a stripper in itself is already a business. You are literally a business. You’ve invested in yourself by going to that audition and dancing at the club. Now find other avenues to invest in where your money can appreciate. Start that business, buy some real estate, invest in stocks. And I always encourage POC to invest into their own communities. Say if you open a nail salon or fashion boutique, see if you can open the business in a minority community to boost the economy of that community.

Dear Black stripper, Brown stripper, or anyone in the world who needs to hear this,

Don’t just make the money and save the money. Let the money multiply! But never let the money make you. Always begin with the end in mind. Create goals for yourself and each and every day do something that will contribute to you reaching that goal.

Much Love,

A Black Stripper❤️

---

How Black men have contributed to the exploitation of Black women and their sexuality

Hypersexualization. Women being seen as disposable sexual objects and inappropriately imposing sexuality on young girls. An act that is far too familiar to Black females.

For centuries, Black females have been hypersexualized as young girls and had their sexuality stripped from them as they become women. Dating back to the beginning of U.S. slavery, Black women were depicted as the “mammy”. An “undesireable” dark skin Black woman with over exaggerated facial and bodily features. The mammy character was created to reassure the White wife that her family was safe because no White and would see Black women as sexually desirable. But, in fact, this attempt to de-sexualize Black women lead to rape, molestation, and Black women being seen as servants and sexual objects for the benefit of White men. No matter if they fit the physical stereotype of the mammy, all Black females were vulnerable to sexual assault at the hands of White men.

Going into the twentieth century, Black female sexuality is seen as something that is very taboo. In the early 1900’s, having representation only thru things such as burlesque, jazz dancing, and strip tease. Using phrases such as “Jungle Fever” to describe a desire for black women, as if it is a disease. Black women’s sexuality is only seen as promiscuous and immoral. Which, inevitably, leads to two extremes. Hypersexualization and the invisible Black woman.

Meanwhile White women are having an era of the “new woman”. Gaining the right to vote, the rise of White Hollywood actresses, controlling their sexuality and reclaiming their narrative.

But for decades to come, Black female sexuality is completely ignored in mainstream media. White women have shows such as “The Mary Tyler Moore Show”, “The Golden Girls”, “Ellen”, “Friends”, “Sex In The City”, and many other outlets that reveal all realms of their sexuality.

It isn’t until the 1990’s and early 2000’s where we see a representation of Black female sexuality in mainstream media because of the rise of southern hip hop, which shifts hip hop from rap cyphers on the neighborhood block where rappers focus on lyricism and spitting rhymes, to rapping about riches and fame and glamorizing the lifestyles of celebrities. But keep in mind that the narrative of Black women’s sexuality is ultimately being controlled by Black men, which leads to the exploitation and hyper visualization, while black women still have no say in their own sexuality.

We see things such as Nelly swiping a credit card thru a video vixens butt cheeks on BET Uncut, Ludacris amazed at the women of Magic City pussy popping’ on a handstand, and women degrading and fighting each other for the love of man on shows such as “Flavor of Love”. So now we see a shift from Black women’s sexuality being completely ignored to it only being important or worthy of being paid attention to if it benefits others, specifically Black men.

In that way, Black men have contributed to the exploitation and hypervisualization of Black female sexuality. In none of those scenarios do we know how any of those actions benefit the Black women, but only the pleasure that Black men get from it. Black men believe that Black women should be satisfied that they even give us attention and at least we get a little compensation from it, so, therefore, we should just sit down, shut up, and let them portray us in a light that is not true to every Black woman.

And even as we go along and get rappers such as Nicki Minaj, her sexuality is strictly for the consumption of men. She creates a image for herself that she is “exclusive” so she can assimilate into rap culture and be accepted by Black men. Just because females speak about sex does not mean their in control of their sexuality.

Now, within the last few years, we’ve seen the rise of female rappers such as Lizzo, Megan Thee Stallion, City Girls, and Lightskin Keisha. We have shows such as Insecure, How To Get Away With Murder, Orange Is The New Black, and Pose. Black women have outlets that represent our sexuality and we have control.

But with the rise of Black women reclaiming our sexuality and controlling the narrative, we’re seen as hoes and gold diggers, not only by Black men, but also by Black women who want to be “pick me’s”, seen as desirable because they fit the box of a “wholesome” girl.

Jermaine Dupri recently stated in an interview that he believes that all female rappers are rapping about a story from the strip club.

For so long, Black Men have been able to control how Black women are portrayed, they cannot fathom that we can benefit from our own sexuality. They can’t fathom that we want a monetary gain from their interest in us, or that we can be strippers, have a degree, and a man at home waiting to love us.

The same people that told Black women for so long that we were nothing more than our looks and would only be desired for our bodies, and created what they wanted our sexuality to be, is looking down on us because we found a way to gain from our own bodies and our own sexuality.

So Dear Black Men,

You are not entitled to my body because I am stripper or even just because I am a Black woman. Yes, I am allowed to benefit from my own sexuality. I am allowed to only want you because it benefits me. Wether it’s financially or sexually. At anytime, I am allowed to say that I don’t want you or ask what you can do for me. I am allowed to shake my ass until 4 in the morning and then go home and work on my business plan. At any time, I am allowed to revoke your access to me. I am allowed to say that you can have your 9 to 5, and I only want you on the weekends.

Stop throwing temper tantrums because Black women are reclaiming the sexuality that for so long was stripped from them and that you’ve spent time exploiting.

Sincerely,

A Black Stripper, but most importantly, a Black woman.

Rack City. Freak No More. Magic. I Luv Dem Stripperz. To get a glimpse of strip club culture its as easy as listening to a few hit singles, looking up a couple music videos, or scrolling through your favorite rappers Instagram. The term “Stripper” can evoke different thoughts for different people. It’s a term and lifestyle that is both romanticized and scorned simultaneously.

Although, Black strippers are often criticized for their line of work, they inevitably carry strip club and Black culture on their backs. The marriage between hip-hop and the strip club dates back decades. Rappers would push DJ’s to play their records in the strip club because, let’s be honest, if you can get beautiful women to twerk to your song, it’s a hit. In today’s new era of hip hop, rappers walk into strip clubs and spend tens of thousands of dollars to upkeep and image and persona for themselves. An estimated $3 million dollars was spent at Quality Control Music’s Stripper Bowl Party in Atlanta, Ga in February 2019.

     It’s no secret that stripping an provide much financial freedom to those that choose this job. But why is it that the same women that are the spines of strip club and black culture, deciding who is hot or not, have their voices silenced, problems ignored, and are being put on the sidelines of the new wave stripper unionization movement?

The answer is simple. It’s because no one cares. More specifically, no one gives a damn about the adversities that Black strippers face. Many people look down upon these women and see them as being just “hoes” and don’t even believe that their line of work isn’t even a “real” job. But being ignored by Black men and silenced by White feminist strippers is much more than just a Black stripper problem. It’s a Black Woman issue.

    A recent article in the New York Times titled “Strippers Are Doing It For Themselves” highlights a recent push of stripper unionization to cease unfair working conditions and defective business practices that many clubs across the country partake in. Throughout the entire article there are about three paragraphs that shed a dim light a small amount of issues that Black strippers face. Extreme house fees. Sexual Harassment. Representation. 

     While 80% of rape cases are reported by White women, for every one Black woman that reports that she was raped, fifteen will not. The theory of consent is not very popular among men in Black strip clubs. Many of these men feel entitle to the women that work there solely based on the fact that they are spending money on them. Much of the sexual harassment and assaults that occur in these clubs goes unheard of because dancers don’t want to loose money and fear retaliation from the club itself. Club owners do not want to be associated with anything or anyone that will tarnish the image of their club, and have no problem making it extremely difficult for certain girls to make money in their clubs or flat out firing them.

In many clubs strippers are inaccurately classified as independent contractors while being expected to follow an extensive amount of rules and regulations, while having to deal with outrageous house fees, provide mandatory tips to housemom’s, DJ’s, doormen, etc., facing discrimination and colorist hiring practices, among countless other unethical practices that clubs commit against strippers.

In 2017, stripper Gizelle Marie of New York City brought the NYC Stripper Strike to the forefront to expose the issues that dancers in urban clubs, including having tips blatantly swiped of the stage by bartenders during their dance sets.

But just because the issues are just now becoming somewhat mainstream does not mean they haven’t been occurring for years. Being passed from one generation of strippers to the next.

A recent Supreme Court ruling in the state of California changed how people are classified as independent contractors making a shift to classifying people as employees. This ruling effected dancers by allowing clubs to be able to pay strippers what they choose while still charging customers $30+ for lap dances, $300+ for VIP dances, and $1000+ for champagne rooms, and although the issue is unjust to all dancers, it mainly effects White gentlemen clubs, and White strippers.

Therefore, to say that women are unionizing to fight decades of exploitation makes no sense when you are making White women the face of stripper unionization, while not shedding light on the exploitation Black strippers have faced for decades, and, overall, it coincidently aligns perfectly with White feminism which has a well known history of erasing not only the struggles of Black women, but all women of color, from their movement. When in fact, Black are the ones creating the image of the strip club industry, while concurrently carrying the industry on their backs.

The only representation that black strippers have in media, besides the representation they’ve created themselves, is the glamorization of a lifestyle that does not truly exist. The exploitation that Black strippers truly face is constantly swept under the rug while the lifestyle that is portrayed by society, and black culture in particular, is smoke and mirrors.

So the next time you joke about dropping out of college or quitting your day job to become a stripper, think twice. Because there are many strippers that have Masters, PhD’s, run successful businesses, and are overall boss ass bitches.

Black strippers are being stripped of their rights and silenced by club owners, White feminists, and, sadly, the exact same culture that they so heavily influence.

Dear White Stripper (and all the strippers that are doing it for themselves),

Although our struggles may sometimes cross paths, our issues will never be parallel. Sadly, that’s the way this society was set to be. Wether we’re shaking our asses half naked or sitting in a cubical for 8 hours a day. In order for real change to occur that will benefit all of our stripper sisters stop belittling and erasing the voices of Black strippers, transgender strippers, and all minority strippers alike.

Sincerely,

A Black Stripper

---

“Strippers Are Doing It For Themselves”

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/24/style/strip-clubs.html